Put the puppy back on the paper

In one of the productivity blogs I read regularly, I came across a great post that resonates with me, as I regularly fall off and climb back on the diet/exercise wagon.

It's about nurturing yourself, and not beating yourself up.

I’m really attracted to the idea that our minds are not others that need to be subjugated or punished for non-compliance; to see yourself as somebody who could benefit from a little stewardship and patience is really not such a terrible idea.

The good news is that, yes, I am back on the wagon -- went walking twice this week so far, and pumping iron twice a week.

In the productivity line, I've been busy, busy, busy with a project I will be announcing to my pals soon (hint: not what I've been obsessing about lately). And a certain writer I know has been cranking out pages, too. But don't tell her you read it here. No pressure, just glad she's in the groove!

Being good.

I haven't been sticking to my diet or my exercise regimen for the last month. My main two reasons were:

• it's too hot
• I'm too tired to exercise and/or too stressed to stick to my diet.

So once again I'm booting myself back onto that good health wagon. I've done well so far today (but it's only 3:45 PM).

One of the things I'd forgotten is what a rush it is when I actually stick to my resolutions! After my walk, I felt invigorated, and my legs felt looser and freed of the jammed-under-a-computer-desk-all-damn-day feeling they usually have. And after my low-cal/fat cookie I felt like "YES! I rule!"

Among the work-related and other things I can feel proud of today, here are the healthy things I did well:

• remembered sneakers & socks to walk at lunch
• ate a 1/2 banana instead of something higher calories for a snack at 11 am.
• actually went on that walk!
• had more fruit for dessert, saving my official cookie for my 3 pm snack.
• actually waited til 3 pm to have my snack.

Yes, I do rule! And who knows how many more good things I'll do today -- after all, it's only 3:45.

Values 101

This morning I woke up as usual, bleary eyed, nose stuffy, too early, but unable to get back to sleep.

The LAST thing I wanted to do was go for a walk. So I did that first, to avoid the rush.

And as I was filling my water bottle, looking out the kitchen window over the sink, I felt a sudden burst of, not quite happiness, or even joy, but maybe... contentment.

Now, I don't know if contentment can be said to "burst," it's more like something that comes in on soft paws and jumps up next to you on the couch, purring and asking for scritches.

But that feeling was my reward, and my incentive. It got me through the yucky bits of getting going, and onto the road.

And oddly, even though I don't have quite that same feeling now that I've actually done the exercise, I do have a feeling of contentment over having felt content, if that makes any sense.

I'm listening to the Sures' book on Ayn Rand, and one line comes to mind -- when Mary Ann Sures said about Ayn Rand, "She really valued her values."

I did something that was important to me, however small, and the doing of it is even more important to me.

Keep movin'

I had a phone interview for a job yesterday. I think it went well, but I got a tad depressed when the interviewer reminded me that, since they worked for a state agency, it would take a while before the next step.

Today I got an email from a pal, who might have a job opportunity. Just responding to him that I was interested lifted my spirits tremendously. It reminded me that I do have other options, and other pans in the fire, and that the only way to move towards joy is to keep moving.

I realized that I'd been feeling powerless, as if my only role was to wait for someone else to do something that would affect the rest of my life. But that's just not so.

There's just so much interesting stuff in this world, and so many possibilites, to keep me down for long!

Making a good noise

Here's how I bootstrapped myself into a good mood this morning:

1. Took picture of my flower boxes (after the rain)
2. Put on my "marching music."

What's my marching music? That's what I call the music I listen to when I don't want to do anything but lie around and mope.

This morning, lying around and moping seemed like a really really really good idea. I wanted to, badly. Going to work seemed like too much work. I needed a day off, even though I wouldn't get paid for it. I just needed some time to myself, to regroup.

Dammit, I deserved it!


Boy, did I come close.

Instead I took some pix, and then had fun loading them to Flickr. As I did so, I started thinking about tunes I like to hear to keep me going when I'm down. It was but the work of a moment to find the digital versions and put them on my Palm T3.

One of the tunes was "Good Noise" by John Gorka. I like this song so much that even hearing it in my head puts me in a better mood. *

Putting it on in the car, and singing along at the top of my lungs as I drove to work, was even better.

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* What I get out of it is not exactly what Gorka meant, I think. He talks about "helping your fellow man" and junk. That's ok, but I just like making noise. That's part of who I am.

Springtime hopes

Flower says, "Now,
The wait is over." And dreams
Itself up through the shell of
Winter, "Yes."
Against all the vast, bleak and
empty, each stalk is
A green thread drawn
Heavenward...

(from Bloomsday, by Mary McDowell Keck)